#2.
Online gambling.
One of my biggest enemy’s is the vast open world of online gaming. It offers so many different types of gambling like slots, roulette, blackjack, multiple poker games and much more. One of the biggest helps was a site called Gamstop.
Signing up to this blocked me from almost every online gaming sites (UK) there was to offer. It’s free and takes 24 hours to kick in. It’s well worth it if you want to crack down on your habit/addiction.
If your interested and want to know more the link is added below.
https://www.gamstop.co.uk/
Self Exclusion.
If your worried about how much you visit a casino or need to break I’ve also added the self exclusion form. I am also a member of SENSE. This is a company that works with all UK casinos blocking your entry for a minimum of 6 months. If you wish to renter after this time you will have to arrange a meeting with a memeber of management to discuss if this is possible.
http://www.nationalcasinoforum.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/ef.pdf
Saturday 9 March 2019
#1.
So here goes.....
From a young ages I never really understood what the buzz from gambling was about. I used to see it on films and tv programs and thought it was for the rich and famous. Seeing James Bond in a tux playing card games, in my mind I could never see myself being in that situation.
The first time it ever caught my attention was my dad’s stag do, was much of a ‘do’ more just me and him going out for a day before his 2nd wedding. We went to the races and I had no idea what I was doing. We were wearing nice clothes, drinking and just enjoying the day. Out of the blue he handed me some money and said have a go on a horse, me being me I picked one with a funny name and put £10 on it. Amazing it won and I had no idea, my attention was focused on my dad who was glued to the race. I could see all the different emotions going through him like it was a life or death situation, in the end he was so happy so I guessed he had won. He went to get the next round of drinks but also came back with a huge amount of cash. I believe that’s when it all started, that’s when I wanted more.
I had friends who liked to gamble, nothing crazy but it was enough for me to join in. Started out going to the bookies once in a while, a trip to the dogs or racetrack. But I never seemed to ever win much and that bothered me. Whatever I done in life I wanted to do well at because I never seemed to be able to handle the feeling of failure, yet I wasn’t winning. Things progressed to visiting the bookies on a daily basis, spending money I shouldn’t of in the hope I would somehow make a profit. There were days in which this did happen, but I’d always be back in there the next day. So realisticly I was never winning but chasing something I didn’t know I already had.
Several credit cards and loans later I found myself in a world up pain and upset. Being the age of 19 and a pile of debt bigger then your yearly salary still wasn’t enough for me to stop. I lived for the chase constanly going for it, the world of casinos then came into play. Feeling out of my comfort zone it started out small and I wasn’t to bad to begin with. After winning a few thousand one night I had that feeling of invisibility, like it was just a day at work and I could do it everyday. Obviously within two days after I was broke again. Everytime I lost I would tell myself that’s it, no more. But the other side of me knew I was lying to myself, I knew I’d be back here. I was an addict and I knew it, but I didn’t care I just enjoyed the chase.
It continued and got a lot worse, for a guy that earns £23k a year taking £2000/£3000 a night to the casino. I’m sure you can guess how it went.
This page is called Step.Outside.The.Cloud because when your gambling it feels like your in a cloud where nothing or nobody else matters.
I gambled for eight and a half years. I ruined my life and if effecting so many other people. I lost connections to my family and friend because of it.
It’s been 3 months and 8 days since I gambled and I just wanted to get it out there.
I’ve never done this before and have no idea what I’m doing. The battle continues.
So here goes.....
From a young ages I never really understood what the buzz from gambling was about. I used to see it on films and tv programs and thought it was for the rich and famous. Seeing James Bond in a tux playing card games, in my mind I could never see myself being in that situation.
The first time it ever caught my attention was my dad’s stag do, was much of a ‘do’ more just me and him going out for a day before his 2nd wedding. We went to the races and I had no idea what I was doing. We were wearing nice clothes, drinking and just enjoying the day. Out of the blue he handed me some money and said have a go on a horse, me being me I picked one with a funny name and put £10 on it. Amazing it won and I had no idea, my attention was focused on my dad who was glued to the race. I could see all the different emotions going through him like it was a life or death situation, in the end he was so happy so I guessed he had won. He went to get the next round of drinks but also came back with a huge amount of cash. I believe that’s when it all started, that’s when I wanted more.
I had friends who liked to gamble, nothing crazy but it was enough for me to join in. Started out going to the bookies once in a while, a trip to the dogs or racetrack. But I never seemed to ever win much and that bothered me. Whatever I done in life I wanted to do well at because I never seemed to be able to handle the feeling of failure, yet I wasn’t winning. Things progressed to visiting the bookies on a daily basis, spending money I shouldn’t of in the hope I would somehow make a profit. There were days in which this did happen, but I’d always be back in there the next day. So realisticly I was never winning but chasing something I didn’t know I already had.
Several credit cards and loans later I found myself in a world up pain and upset. Being the age of 19 and a pile of debt bigger then your yearly salary still wasn’t enough for me to stop. I lived for the chase constanly going for it, the world of casinos then came into play. Feeling out of my comfort zone it started out small and I wasn’t to bad to begin with. After winning a few thousand one night I had that feeling of invisibility, like it was just a day at work and I could do it everyday. Obviously within two days after I was broke again. Everytime I lost I would tell myself that’s it, no more. But the other side of me knew I was lying to myself, I knew I’d be back here. I was an addict and I knew it, but I didn’t care I just enjoyed the chase.
It continued and got a lot worse, for a guy that earns £23k a year taking £2000/£3000 a night to the casino. I’m sure you can guess how it went.
This page is called Step.Outside.The.Cloud because when your gambling it feels like your in a cloud where nothing or nobody else matters.
I gambled for eight and a half years. I ruined my life and if effecting so many other people. I lost connections to my family and friend because of it.
It’s been 3 months and 8 days since I gambled and I just wanted to get it out there.
I’ve never done this before and have no idea what I’m doing. The battle continues.
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